Dear Readers,
I don’t write poetry often. I do it most often when I feel melancholy (code for depressed). The Holidays are coming up. It will be the first since the death of my mother, which happened on New Year’s Day 2017. I am still spinning from this.
My psychologist always says that it’s best to keep the shadow of abuse small and behind you–yet, even she recognizes that there are times when it looms large and in front–obstructing our view of our present and future. The allegations of so many women who are pointing the painful, accusatory finger at Harvey Weinstein, Roy Moore, and the countless others who must remain in silent humiliation because of the fear that precludes them from speaking out.
It brings back so much. Every day, I try to forget that our highest elected official is an admitted sexual predator. It’s almost too much to bear. And that so many of his compadres are as complicit as he is–well, that makes it more egregious.
I thought it was just me (at one time). But now, with each new story, it’s a reminder of the pain that so many of us share. Not just women either–but every single person whose sexuality was objectified and that someone tried to take advantage of her or his power over you. Yes, it’s great that we can talk about what’s been done, but now can we talk about how we can help the carnage of those left behind.
Peace,
Melinda
Here is the poem I wrote today.
You Too
It was
me
But it was
You Too
i
tried
to find a place to hide
The Shame,
The Embarrassment,
The Hatred of
me
I tried to
destroy myself
but others wouldn’t let me
But You
Yes,
You
from the time I remember
until it somehow stopped.
thank god.
But I never forgot…was just afraid
So, Yes, #MeToo
But only
because of
#you
Peace on earth and let us all heal from all of life’s wrongs. Remember, not one of us is alone in whatever river we are paddling through; others have been in similar boats for centuries before us.
We have always had a voice, but now we have a microphone. #metoo
Again, Peace,
Melinda
#me too, i liked your poem, take care of your self. Hugs and kisses, sister.
Thanks so much, Melba–I appreciate the comment, and the hugs and kisses sister. <3 Take care.
So true, and so sad!
It’s terrible to hear from so many women about so many men (not that it’s always and only men abusing women) of their trauma and suffering. It’s as if the flood gates have been opened, and the stories are now just pouring out.
One good thing, though, about all these recent revelations is that it’s brought sexual harassment into the spotlight, and that, I hope, gives us a chance to change the norm and make it truly unacceptable. For me, as well as helping those who have been victims and are left behind, we need to work on the “next steps” of making sexual predation have consequences. There must be a cost to the men who prey on women, rather than the other way around.
I heard a great story on PRI the other day about tomato pickers in Florida — mostly women — who were preyed upon by their bosses. The Coalition of Immokalee Workers (http://www.ciw-online.org/) managed to bring economic pressure on companies who allowed sexual harassment to occur, which reportedly stopped it in its tracks. The fact that this behavior has been so often swept under the rug, accepted, and ignored is a big part of why it’s been so rampant.
To me, the next step is for all of us — men and women — to insist that there are consequences for the individuals who behave this way and to the corporate or other environments that look the other way when it occurs. The people of Alabama have a chance to do that with Roy Moore; if he ever stands for election again, the people of the USA have a chance to do that with the dangerous orange-haired buffoon who now occupies the white house; and consumers have a chance to do that every time they buy food, goods, or a ticket to a movie.
I take heart that we’re now on the verge of a real change in our attitudes and behavior. Doing that will make all the recent revelations have a positive consequence. I suggest that the next step might be to #PutASropToIt.
What a great comment Les–one that I wish I could tweet out but this isn’t Twitter! I love hearing about the story in Florida and I think you are right, the seed is planted, the plant will grow and thrive. It’s great that people’s voices continue to speak out; the more who come forward, the more we find solutions to this untenable behavior.
It’s hard to change human behavior but it’s not impossible. One of the most important thing is “the readiness factor” (there’s a readiness for everything) and I, like you, believe that this readiness is here. Now, it’s what we do with it. I wrote something on Twitter the other day. It was “We’ve always had a voice but now we have a microphone.” The microphone is how we choose to use our voice–and that should be done with wisdom.
Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot.
I’m hoping to provide something again and aid others such as you aided me.
I’m glad you found it useful. Happy Holidays.
Melinda
Yeah, I too write poetry when I am in the depths…my poetry is rarely pretty hearts and flowers stuff…it was once…long ago when I was in love…but I lost that love and that poem…oh well. We survive, we speak up, we help the survivors. Just by continuing and living and (sometimes) flourishing, and surviving when they tried to destroy us….we do manage to overcome….most days. I find the most terrifying statistic (one I have shared for years with my students) is that 1 out of every 3 females is a rape or incest survivor…and that statistic only applies to those which are REPORTED…many go unreported. I then count the females in the room, and say that statistically, this means that 3 (at least) of us are survivors….no doubt there are actually many more. Then we have discussions. I also point out that males can be survivors of rape and incest and other forms of sexual molestation…and that this is every bit as damaging…yeah, we have some interesting conversations in my classroom. Education is only the beginning…
Absolutely. We need to start educating people at a much younger age too. We shouldn’t wait until they are in adolescence. We need to teach respect, the truth, and how to treat people (since we are getting such a poor government example). So nice seeing you!